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I'm a slow motion accident
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| | Current Music: | I'm not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance (Black Kids Cover) - Kate Nash | | Subject: | pouring daydeams into a tiny cup | | Time: | 04:30 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/drunk.gif) inebriated |
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When they said medical school passed by like a breeze, they weren't kidding were they? And why does it feel like I still don't know as much as I should? Does anybody else out there feel worthless because you don't know twat about making good investments and what the next 5 years holds for you, but when the topic goes to anything medically-related you just go on and on and on? Why am I even asking these questions?
Anyhoots whatevs. All I'm sure of is that this academic year is officially over and done with whoot!!! Hello, shallow summer dilemmas! And hello my new love affair with tumblr and my moleskine! ♥
I WILL MILK THIS SUMMER OUT. MILK IT 'TILL IT BLEEDS, I TELL YOU. | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | Current Music: | 156 - Mew | | Current Location: | le dorm | | Subject: | E-mails | | Time: | 02:34 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/loved.gif) loved |
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| Looking through my email account's inbox folder for a certain file that was sent to me a few months ago (yuh I suck because I totally forgot about the handy dandy SEARCH option), I stumbled upon amusing e-mails from my friends that made me ROTFLMAOing... and all for a very good reason. I love that despite the convenience of message boards or YM, some of us still revert to the good old email system just because. Here are a few snippets:
"dear kimi (diva),
jomelma and i talked last night regarding our plans for the week. we believe that you are acting up that's why you haven't been able to go out with us. so talk to us when you are not a med student anymore..."
"i know med school's a bitch but you have to plan things out. that's part of the seven habits..."
"psst. here are the pictures of that guy we met at ___. i stalked him online. this is love. i feel it."
"i forgot to tell you na yung interpretation ko of your dream came from this book. so there is a source. it is valid."
"i know he's hot! napa-kegel exercise nga ako eh. involuntary, mind you. BEST EXPERIENCE EVER. :)"
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| | Current Music: | Wallflower - Priscilla Ahn | | Time: | 08:51 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/happy.gif) calm |
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| | It's been a while. A lot of people have come and gone, supposed milestones have been embedded into what little space in my brain I have for "special memories", vices have been chucked out of the window, bonds with people have been strengthened, epiphanies are no longer part of the big plan, bad habits have been revisited and yet as surreal as the roller coaster has been for the past year, I still find myself able to look at my face in front of the mirror and say, "this is really one of the greatest decisions I've ever made." Albeit the constant barrage of complaints and what seems like my plummet into the hellhole of craziness, believe it or not, I am actually happy. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Hummer - Foals | | Current Location: | le dorm | | Subject: | Skins-ing | | Time: | 09:35 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/determined.gif) random |
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Can I just say that even years before the Skins brouhaha started to become a thing, we were already doing the whole "lying down in the middle of the road while inebriated" act. We are so made of awesome. XD Narf.
( ... ) | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Breakable- Ingrid Michaelson | | Subject: | I am alive | | Time: | 02:39 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/thoughtful.gif) contemplative |
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| | I've unconsciously tapped into my sensitive estrogen-driven reservoir. And all it took was a geriatric patient, confined for complications secondary to DM, under NGT. Maybe I'm not so frigid and unemotional after all. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend | | Subject: | Optimism. I hasz it. | | Time: | 11:20 pm | | Current Mood: | sentimental |
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| | I cannot for the life of me, put into words how Change has managed to smoothly dock its wonderful sails into my so-called life. However there are distinct moments when I can't help but take a step back and observe at how the obscure parts all fit together to make out this wonderful, wonderful picture. Case in point: a recent purchase of 2 volumes of a certain "bible" that has managed to excite me more than anything else this entire summer. Just this morning, I found myself staring at the front cover while playing out exaggerated scenarios in my head. This is really it. The vicarious thrills and mistakes of yesteryears have been chucked out (not forgotten) of the window to replace what I'd like to interpret as a pivotal point in my existence. Ah, what a sap. Or maybe I'm just happy and I don't know where else to displace the unsuspected rush of endorphins. I love it, that sense of well-being. Where does it all come from? :) | | |
| | Current Music: | Murasaki Blue - The Dorques | | Time: | 09:28 pm | | Current Mood: | randomly amused |
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| | Sahal and Yashmagh scarves are probably the most paradoxical pieces of (trendy) clothing to ever hit this country. I just spent hours waxing philosophical and poetic on said scarves to my friends. Personally, I am a fan of extra cloth power. But come on, it's another thing when you use pieces that have historical imperative. Yes, scarves have imperative...and substance too. So fuck off. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Take Me to the Hospital - The Faint | | Time: | 04:35 am | | Current Mood: | amused |
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| I tag: The Hohobags! (That's more than ten of you, so there. SQUEE!)
The rules:
* Each blogger starts with 10 random facts/habits about themselves
* Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 10 things and post these rules
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose 10 people to get tagged and list their names
* Don't forget to leave them a comment telling they're tagged, and to read your blog
So here goes:
1. Nigella Lawson. I honestly can't cook for shit (if heating restaurant left-overs is considered cooking, then I'm the freaking prodigy). But I still manage to make the lamest Lawson impersonation in the planet. Midnight "gourmet" snacks for the win!
2. Dead little duckies. Back when I was a teensy weensy kid, my grandmother used to give me an entire flock of ducklings whenever I was in the animal farm. And every single time I had a new flock of cute little baby duckies, I would put them all inside my plastic pool, get the airtight cover and wait till they all die from drowning. Whattamorbid that Kimi child.
3. Aspirins. I am deathly allergic to it, and I will never ever pop one in meh life.
4. Cough Syrup. Did you know that cough syrups are strangely addictive little pharmaceutical monsters? See, I knew this friend and she had a horrible cold back in college that prompted her to drink orange-flavored syrup. Days after her cold went away, her friends found her still drinking the bottle religiously and they had to literally pry the said bottles out of her hand. Whattanaddict that friend.
5. Highlighters. Med School + Highlighting notes and textbooks = intellectual orgasm.
6. I have this really big fear that I might turn into the Mrs. Carmody (Marcia Gay Harden) type when I grow old - complete with the big ass bag and that fundamentalist need to brainwash just about everyone that she meets. Iz skurry.
7. I love big earrings. BIG ASS PERUVIAN EARRINGS go a loooong way in helping to fight duhpreshun. Srsly.
8. Embarrassing habit #298: walking around the house (bathrobe on), with Pedicab on full blast speakers and me traipsing around the place trying to envision my own version of Guijo. Hahaha. Whattafail.
9. I fail at beer bongs. FAIL, I tell you!!!!
10. Deep inside, I do want to find my sweet babboo. Squee. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| The downside with having to "tread the unknown" is the mindfuck prior to having the "unknown" show its actual colors to you. In most cases, the waiting time is pure and unadulterated torture. The kind that gnaws at your insides and doesn't fail to stop, lest you do something extreme about it (denial never fails to screw everything up even more).
Case in point (and I shall be metaphorical with this one since I gots all the time in the world): there were 220 people who voluntarily subjected themselves to getting stuck on a far-off tropical island despite knowing that they were going to experience "human suffering" at its finest. Before the year ended there were 20+ casualties - all falling under the drowned, the ones that got away and the ones who committed suicide. On the date of their departure from the said tropical island, they were told that the boat raft that was going to pick them up had a capacity less than the actual people who managed to live on the island. After much stress and all that mental brouhaha, it was announced that 50+ had to be killed, leaving the 130+ stunned (scarred for life), PTSD-ed (mindfucked) and still waiting for that motherfucking raft to take them to another motherfucking island. ANYHOOTS.
My point is:
1. I can't do Math for shit (my addition skills = boo).
2. This whole "waiting for the raft" crap and not knowing what to do while I wait is driving me bonkers.
3. I hate not knowing what will come my way and being unable to see familiar, friendly faces just puts that proverbial cherry on top of my sundae of FAIL.
4. I'm a whiny ass mothereffer and I should just DEAL WITH IT, yeah?!
5. I completely lost myself with all this delusional LJ drams. But alavet. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Dead Disco - Metric | | Time: | 01:46 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/sad.gif) bored |
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| Dear Rob Strebel,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery.
I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your camping car and I saw you ignore the crazy monk.
I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand how awful I've felt.
I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory.
You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about our friendship.
Greetings to your freaky family,
Kimi
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| It was all secretly planned out weeks prior to the Awesomest Final Exams that had only 1/6 of the entire batch reaching the MPL. We tagged it as the Summer Master Plan - to put it simply, it was the "trampoline" that fire fighters put at the bottom of the building whenever someone attempted to jump off in fits of suicidal rage. We knew it was a "fall back" that was more likely to make us miserable, yet we did it because there were predictions ranging from getting disowned to shattering familial expectations (dramatic, much?). Two days into the said Master Plan, I find out that the "fall back" we planned wasn't of any help whatsoever since I didn't even need it in the first place.
EPIC FUCKING FAIL.
And now a week into this so-called summer job, I find myself thinking that maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea after all. Hands down, it's one hell of a humbling experience and now I find myself bowing down to my friends who actually have jobs and have managed to stay IN IT. A part of me is thankful that I chose to go into graduate school instead, to prolong the pain of being part of the work force fulfill my personal goals. Only now have I truly realized that I actually live in this huge (say it with me: HYOOOOOOOOOGE) social bubble where everybody's ticket to happiness has a price and an unmistakable reference to its hedonistic origins. But I won't be walking around barefoot like a tree-hugging beatnik just yet (although the thought is quite tempting; let's pay homage to the deities wheeeeee!). In as much as I can bitch and moan about being bourgeoise and falling prey to the symptoms of the middle class syndrome, I really can't do much about it. I'M IN TEH FUCKING SYSTEM, YO. And I have been for 22 years. We all have. It has become a way of life and inevitably it has defined a huge part of what we are right now. Needless to say, we gotsta live with it yo. Am I even making sense? But I digress.
I actually logged on to blog about one of thee most awesome and embarrassing Kimi moments in my life thus far:
*Person 1 - Chairman of the Promotions Board or whatever it is that they call it a.k.a Doctor/Professor with the Awesometastic Power of telling you if you move on to 2nd year of Med or not
*Person 2 - Me
Person 1: So Ms. Pangilinan, what are your predictions about your grades? *stern face*
Person 2: Oh. Well. Uhm. I think I did really bad in Biochemistry. *worried face*
Person 1: *still with teh stern face, which turns into what I assumed was a grimace* I see. Well, as you may have heard, there are quite a few casualties in your batch, and as much as it saddens me to see these people go, we really had no choice since their grades were very dismal. (this is the part where I think I start to silently sob to myself) *hands over that promotions paper; vile little object that is*
HoweverinyourcaseI'mhappytotellyouthatyoumoveontosecondyear...congratulations. *happy face*
Person 2: Ohmyfreakinggod! Seriously!?!!? *jumps up and down and starts to cry like an idiot, snot and buckets of tears aplenty* Oh shit. No. I mean. Ohmygaaad. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. I won't cut class ever again! I'll study more! I'll become a doctor! I'll make the most out of my independent study periods, promise. Thankyouthankyouthankyou! *wants to go over and hug Person 1, but department secretary leads Kimi out of the room where she continues to shriek and cry like a possessed fan girl on crack*
:D :D :D alavet! | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Bang! Bang! - Le Tigre | | Subject: | mindless boredom | | Time: | 10:50 pm | | Current Mood: | amused |
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| The thing with teh Facebook is that it keeps you "busy" even for an hour or two. And trust me, it goes a long way when all you want are small shots at being self indulgent (read: epic fail attempts to conquer teh UNIVERSE). And now I introduce to you, my country:
"The Nation of Veni Vidi Vici is ordered by El Presidente Kimi Pangilinan. This country allows the elite of the citizenship to elect a leader from among their own ranks. Three ton computing systems are the crowning achievement of this country's technological advancements. Advancement in medical practices has produced efficient health care practices, but only the privileged can afford the rising costs.
Crime is held at bay with the allowance for jailers to sporadically beat, torture and execute inmates who are considered 'problem cases'. In times of conflict, this government utilizes its prison population and allows pardons for criminals willing to fight to keep the peace. Private observance of a religion is tolerated, but no public displays are permitted. All children in Veni Vidi Vici ages five to thirteen are eligible for free placement testing to determine their proper schooling placement.
Many citizens see a need to be eco-friendly and have started a coalition for the advancement of the 'tree hugger'. The free market is allowed to decide policy provided the government is in agreement with any decisions made, and liberation movements have forced this government to make constitutional amendments allowing more civil liberties for some citizens.
Kimi Pangilinan passes reform which allows tax breaks for small businesses."
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| | Subject: | OMFG. | | Time: | 01:43 am | | Current Mood: | nostalgic |
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| Behind this cut are pictures I don't even remember being a part of. It's circa freshman year of college, which just goes to show we really are getting old. And FYI, I used to go out without putting on accessories of any kind! That kind of got me laughing out loud to myself for a good few minutes. XD
( MAJOR WTF PICTURES. OH, MY YOUTH. ) | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
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Sometimes, the mere thought of it is just too enticing for words. If only it was THAT easy. And if only I didn't know just what nerves it could impair, what it will do to my tongue's motor abilities and gustatory sensation blah blah blah blah.
The technicality of everything just ruins the poetry of things. Damnit. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | The Lucky One - Au Revoir Simone | | Time: | 12:30 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/curious.gif) curious |
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| Dreams are enchanting little creatures of the unconscious. Imagine my surprise early this morning, when I literally stumbledupon Geraldine Georges - a graphic designer and artist who has hundreds of works all bordering on the visually scintillating and obscure. A great majority of which too, depicts my dreams. MY DREAMS. The ones I can never figure out and have told no one about.
What is cosmic connection?
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| | Current Music: | Just Abuse Me - Air Traffic | | Subject: | OH YEAH! | | Time: | 09:06 pm | | Current Mood: | cheerful |
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| This is the mandatory milestone LJ post. The one where I should be going GRAARRRG ARRRGH MOTHERFUCKING FUCKINGASSHOLESHITCUNTBITCHWHORE FTW! My first year of medical school a.k.a year of emotional turmoil and hell is officially over and done with!!!!!!!!!! Infinite hearthugs and bisoux to the wonderful and o-zome people who bore witness to my year-long fits of rage, depression and passion over whatever it is that med school threw my way. It's the love, people! The love from everyone was what kept my mind sane at times when I so fucking wanted to give up. It's the same set of people who called and SMS-ed constantly to see how I was and sometimes dropped by 24-hour studying joints to visit me and shower me with their words of wisdom in various phases of inebriation - they are all partly responsible for making me push through with this. Like I said. THE MOTHEREFFING LOVE (coupled with insane amounts of intrinsic motivation, that is). ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
And now, the painful "waiting time" for the results of the final exams begins. :P | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| To say that this week has been nothing short of pure, unadulterated stress is not even cutting close to the actual thing. I'm just really thankful for having awesometastic groupmates whose structured minds are able to communicate with my randomness and supposed significant word vomits at 4 in the morning. Here's to a week of jaw-dropping lectures by that civil-engineer-turned-neurologist and that other neurologist with the fierceness (and body type) of Edna Mode. And then of course there was the Physiology Lab Finals one-on-one with the doctor who studied in France, who got me seriously thinking about wearing a beret and bringing croissants and french-pressed coffee to my time slot just because.
But like I said, nothing beats sleepless nights, reading hundreds of pages of neurological jargon, playing differential diagnostics a la House M.D. (as 1st year medical students - oh the irony, oui?) and coming up with THE THEORY - only to find out from the gods that be, that we were right on target of the diagnosis after all. It helps that I'm in a group with the top 2 students of the batch. So sue me.
To cut to the chase: this must be love. ♥ squeeeee! | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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I'm a slow motion accident
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